Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize