Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
