dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
