You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
