She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make out with him forever
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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