My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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