Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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