I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
you made out with another girl for some wings
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
