I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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