would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I stole a fireplace last night.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
