ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
