Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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