ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
