Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
