is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
