My first STD was from a foam party
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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