so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
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At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
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We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I currently don't understand fingers.
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