There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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