Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize