So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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