Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
