Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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