she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
