We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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