I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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