Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
