I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
