Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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