I smell stomach acid.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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