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It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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