My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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