I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
