He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
