if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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