She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
