have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
