So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
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yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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