I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
