can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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