I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
