Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
