My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
