Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Let's paint friendship bongs
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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