Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
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I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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