He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
