My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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