So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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