well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
