I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Randomize
