ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
