She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
