I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So many bounce houses so little time
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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