i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
