Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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