Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
