Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
