Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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